Pretty, for an Asian
“Wow! Your eyes are so big, and you have such a European nose- how pretty you are.” “Your eyes don’t look Korean at all. They’re so pretty and big.” “Your hair is such a pretty brown. You’re lucky you didn’t get black hair like most Koreans.”
These are all examples of real comments I have gotten about my features. Perfect strangers have come up to me to comment on my eyes or my nose, or any other feature they decided was unusual. Growing up it subconsciously made me think that I was only “pretty” because I didn’t look “too Korean”. It was a powerful snare, one that would grip and confuse me for the majority of my childhood. Was I only told I was pretty because I didn’t look “too Korean”? What was wrong with looking Korean? After all I was ethnically a full-blood Korean. What if I hadn’t had big eyes and light hair? What would that make me then?
“You’re pretty, for an Asian” is a phrase that has been said countless times to countless different Asians- it is not new. It is almost comical how backhanded and degrading it is. Not only does it diminish that person’s individual beauty, but it also insults Asians by making it seem like we could never truly be beautiful.
There are plenty of stereotypes that plague Asians, many of which target our appearances. Small eyes, small noses with no nose bridges, no cheekbones, and faces that are “flat”. The danger of these stereotypes are that they not only that they categorize all Asians into one mold, but they also degrades those particular features. Features that are not only beautiful, unique, and just as worthy of celebration, but also tell a story of who we are and where we come from.
So often we forget that our faces are a magnificent collage of all those who came before us. We are a combination of every culture, every age in history, every ancestor that lived to become one in us. We forget that when we look in a mirror it is not only our unique selves we are beholding, but every person who has ever existed in our history. We are beautiful, you are beautiful, not only because you simply just are, but because in your face lives so many stories. Stories and people that are worthy of being celebrated.
And that is one of the reasons why increased representation is so important. Not only can it inspire other’s to occupy the spaces they dream of being in, representation also helps celebrate and bring to the forefront different features. Like I said before, we exist as collages of every face that came before us. How extraordinary would it be if our perception of beauty also resembled a collage: pulling together many unique and varied faces to celebrate them equally.
Pretty, for AS an Asian
